Uncomfortable growth

It’s been a long minute and it has been an interesting year!

You know, with every major milestone that I have experienced this year, I have drafted a blog in my mind and that is where it ends. I talk myself out of writing it or publishing it. So, I challenged a fellow quiet blogger to write a blog post before Christmas to break the silence. I have to say, even with that, it is past 1am on Christmas morning and I’m only just drafting this!

Back to my uncomfortable growth…..

It’s been a year filled with growth, lots of good news but also a lot of bad news. I found myself in some instances being happy and sad at the same time. It was frustrating. Can I celebrate my wins or should I be crying instead?

The irony is, now that I’m typing this, I can remember the good times very clearly, but only remember a handful of the bad times. I am thankful for being able to look back, and say boldly that in everything, God brought me through and I can truthfully say, I sailed through. I have lived by two mottos this year. They are pretty short and may mean nothing to you, but to me, they helped me a lot.

1. Living each day an hour at a time

2. Being thankful

This year was busy and certainly overwhelming. I had to let a lot of things go and also learn how to adapt my mindset to survive. I had very little capacity to deal with anything else. I was in survival mode. It’s funny, because speaking to even some of my close friends, this was not obvious to them and I was getting things done. As the saying goes, thank God we don’t look like what we have been through.

At some point, living each day at a time was just overwhelming and I found taking each hour as it comes more comforting. I felt more in control that way and I’m working my way back to taking each day at a time!

I got promoted at work a few months ago and the new managers were privileged to attend a conference that doubled up as a celebration event. We had a lady speak to us about mental health. Something that struck me about everything she said was how she highlighted that good news could result in the same amount of stress on an individual as bad news.

Often, with good news, it is less obvious that the person needs helps or support. Third parties can often look into such situation and say, “they prayed for”, “they worked hard for it”, “they deserve it”, “this is exciting”. Hardly will anyone ask you if you are up for the task. Certainly in my new position, it has been a steep learning curve with expectations increasing overnight. The first couple of months were certainly challenging, but I think I am at a place where I can lift up my head and ride the waves. Phew!

As another example, you buy a new house and most see you as wealthy, but they often forget buying a new house is a huge initial financial outlay that could some take months to recover from.

I am also extremely thankful for all the good that has come my way this year. I will never take it for granted. None of these things would have been achievable without an amazing support system that was sent my way when I needed them the most.

To conclude, if you take nothing away from this post but to remember that you are most likely not alone if you feel stressed even in good situations. I hope you will let yourself find someone you trust to provide the mental support you need to get through this temporary phase.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year on advance!