Every moment counts

Today’s blog is about maximising time!
As working mums, we often have to juggle our work schedules with our home schedule together with being a wife, mum, daughter, sister, friend and the list goes on. We have established in previous posts that it will be impossible to make everyone happy and get an A star in every one of our responsibilities. However, there are ways to reduce the amount of times we feel like a disappointment. I have suggested a few for your consideration below.

Maximise your weekends

Weekends are God sent! Which is why I am sure you have wished on a Sunday night, at some point in your life, that the weekend was longer! You have this two solid days to focus on everything that is not work related. For me, quality time with my son is the top on my list. My mentality at the weekend is to do as much with him as possible. In as much as I wish he understands the need for a lie in on Saturdays, I am actually happy when he wakes me up nice and early because he is ready to start his day! Weekends involve taking him for activities, shopping together, watching his favourite shows and basically all the normal things you will do with your child, like telling them not to do various dangerous things their curiosity wants them to do and at the other extreme; messing about and getting a lot of cuddles.

Other than weddings and landmark events, I try not to entertain social functions that will take me away from home, my son or my husband during the weekend. I am happy to host friends at home but because there is just so much to accomplish during the weekend, I find that I maximise my time best when I am home. Thankfully I multitask relatively easy so doing my chores and cooking for the week also feature during the weekend.

Maximise your weekdays

Weekdays are also to be maximised. If you were paying attention you will notice that I specified above that I try to minimise social functions, other than landmark events, during the weekend. This doesn’t mean I don’t make time for my friends. That is the contrary to be honest. These days, social media and instant messenger along with FaceTime have nearly rendered it unnecessary to meet up physically. However, I am an old school girl and I still like meeting up with my friends. I find that if organised properly and in advance, majority of the time, you can meet up with friends during the weekday! I have gone out for drinks or dinner with friends during the week and it has been so successful! It is even more fun because you feel like you are being naughty (going out on a school night). Planning in advance means the necessary childcare arrangements can be put in place. You also find that, because you know you have to be at work the next day, you are good and tend not to have one too many drinks. You will also have, what I like to call, efficient banter because you know you only have a limited amount of time, so you skip right to the juicy bits of your conversations. 

Another tried and tested option is to lunch together. Albeit shorter, it does the job. Once again, planning is key. If you know in advance, you get into work early or plan to leave late so you can have a longer lunch to catch up with your friends.

Say bye bye to the lovers tiff

Okay, not a total good bye as they can be useful in getting to know each other and in some cases, the added benefits that comes when you make up (I won’t got into too much detail here *wink*). However, when you begin to have one too many of these, they eat into the already limited time you are spending with your partner. Instead of being productive and happy when you are together, you are arguing, or still fuming from the last argument. This obviously means you aren’t saying nice things to each other, buying each other gifts, touching each other or just generally not being more than civil to each other (in some cases, even this is missing). Before you know it, you are mere house mates and then divorce begins to look like a viable option in the extreme cases. 

If this is you, or you just find you are doing more arguing than talking to your partner. Now is the time to take action. Stop it now! I have been there. It is hard to say sorry especially when you feel you have done nothing wrong. It is hard to be the bigger person and to let things go. But, I tell you from experience that it is only hard the first few times and before you know it, it becomes second nature. I’m not advising that you do not talk about issues, I’m simplying saying to learn to discuss difficult issues without it ending in an argument. You know your partner well enough to know their trigger point. Don’t push that button. Regardless of how tempting it may be. Walk away or agree safe words with your partner. For us, we decided to say ‘I don’t want to talk about this now‘ if we need more time to process what we have to say and communicate it in a way that won’t hurt. The caveat was that we made sure we actually had the dreaded conversation eventually. Find safe words that work for you and aim to edify your partner as opposed to condemning or critising them all the time.

I’m not perfect yet but I’m reaping the benefits already of making small changes. It means when we are back home from work we can actually have pleasant conversations and laugh together instead of aiming to spend time apart or reminding ourselves we are not speaking to each other. You will find you are looking forward to go home to bond with your partner!

I think these are enough tips for today. More to come.. as I remember or come across them. As always, I hope you will find these useful!